Children need to know they are special, loved and capable of achieving their dreams. Positive relationships with caregivers and parents actually improve the way a child's brain works and grows.

When children receive warm, responsive care, they are more likely to feel safe and secure with their caretakers and to develop healthy relationships in the future.

Children send many signals to their caretakers to identify their needs or feelings, even when they are too young to communicate with words. Caretakers can look for clues such as the sounds they make, the way they move, their facial expressions, and the way they make - or avoid - eye contact. Children thrive and form secure bonds with their caregivers when the adults read these signals and respond with consistency and warmth. When setting limits with a child, it is important to be both firm and supportive.

Interactions between children and their caregivers form the basis of future learning, so help a child safely explore the world. Be ready to provide reassurance if something unexpected happens. Children learn through playing, so encourage a child to play.

Each child is unique; children grow at different rates and have different dispositions. Celebrate the individuality of your child and help him or her develop positive feelings about himself or herself.

Caring for a child is one of the toughest yet most important jobs any of us will have. As a caregiver, it's easy to get overwhelmed and tired. When that happens, give yourself a break. Remember that there is no such thing as the perfect parent or the perfect child. Make sure the child is safe, then try one or more of the following:

• Call a friend, family member or babysitter to watch your child so that you can have some time to yourself.
• Take several deep breaths.
• Close your eyes and put yourself in your child's place.
• Slowly count to 100.
• Splash water on your face.
• Call a helpline such as the Parents Anonymous® Parent Support Line (503-258-4557 in the Portland, Oregon tri-county area).
• Hug a pillow.
• Get a drink of water.
• Go for a walk.
• Write down as many helpful, positive words as you can think of. Save the list.
• Try to remember all the times you have been proud of this child.
• Change the situation: do a different activity with the child.

After calming down, compliment yourself on being a great parent.

Parenting is a tough job. It takes a whole community to raise a child, so reach out a helping hand to a friend, neighbor or relative who might need some support.

• Offer to care for a child so the parent can rest or spend time alone, or so the parents can enjoy each other's company.
• Know the resources available in your community - or where you can call for a list of resources - so you can quickly refer someone who needs help.
• Become a foster parent and provide a safe and nurturing environment for a child who is temporarily unable to live with his or her own family. Call Morrison's Foster Care Services at (503) 256-3040 or the State Office for Services to Children and Families at (800) 331-0503 for more information.
• Host a parent education or support group at your church or community center.
• Make your house and your neighborhood a welcoming place for children and families, especially for those new to the area. Let people know they can come to you for help or when they just need someone to listen.
• Volunteer as a facilitator for a parent support group, such as a Parents Anonymous® group, or to answer calls for a helpline. Or contact your favorite children's organization and ask them how you can help.
• Serve as a mentor for a new mom or dad and share your experiences, mistakes, and successes with them.
• Volunteer or work as a "respite care" worker for children's organizations that need loving, quality, temporary care for children to give full-time child care workers and foster families a break.
• Give a copy of this guide to someone who needs it.

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